Every picture tells a story don't it

As promised, a couple of pictures of Birthday Beach before the hurricanes hit:


Birthday Beach



Tiki Bar

Rod Stewart/Every Picture Tells a Story

I still haven't found what I'm looking for

The other thing that happened Sunday, besides the beach birthday bash (see previous post), was that I shared a pulpit with my father at my church. My father is a retired Methodist minister and former missionary and he was asked to preach while our pastor was away. I was the liturgist. It was a very good experience, but the best part for me came later in the day when my stepmother, who had been in the congregation, told me how proud she had been of me up there and how I had missed my calling. It meant a great deal to me to hear her say that she was proud of me - I think we all want to hear that from our parents.

But the second part of her statement, that I had missed my calling, has plunged me deeper into the thoughts I've been having about what I want to do if I grow up. I've always envied people who have a calling, who know their purpose, who can't envision any other path than the one they are on. I've even thought that in some ways it might be nice to live in a time or society with little choice as to what you do with your life - it is chosen for you. What if I did miss my calling? What if I was too busy listening to some sappy song on the radio when it came? Or maybe it was like in the Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb - "your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'" - maybe I just couldn't quite make out the words. Or maybe I just missed the connection.

My whole life I've been a snorkeler (figuratively), never much of a diver. I like a lot of things in a general way, but tend to get very bored with the specifics. Sure, I'll dive deeper occasionally into a topic that piques my interest, but soon enough I'm back to skimming the surface. The list of things that I've thought I wanted to be has included lawyer, politician, actor, casting director, restaurateur, preservationist, architect, manager, international businessman, teacher, foreign aide worker, massage therapist, marine biologist, veterinarian, travel agent, realtor, artist, actuary, foreign service agent, buyer, furniture designer/builder, real estate developer, photographer, bartender, doctor, and so on. I've never really been able to focus for very long or to narrow the list down in any meaningful way. I really just wish I were independently wealthy so that I could afford to dabble in each of the areas for a while (okay, so I've ruled out the politician thing...).

I think part of the problem has to do with the age we live in - it is a very specialized age and people's roles are very narrowly defined. In earlier times you used many different skills in order to get through daily life. It seems to me that many people have the same struggle that I do because they hate to limit themselves to such narrowly defined career paths. Also, we have so much choice, that it is kind of overwhelming. There are so many options available, so many paths and each one can require a huge investment of time, energy, money, etc. to follow. What if we choose poorly? We hate to waste our precious resources.

I definitely don't have the answers - I'm searching like many others. As the song from the musical Pippin says "got to find my corner of the sky." Sure, I've got some of the pieces of the puzzle in place and I find peace in that, but there are still some missing pieces that haven't been found and are needed to complete the picture. Hmmm, maybe they are hidden under the cushions of the couch...think I'll go take a look.

U2/I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Can't you feel 'em circling, honey? Can't you feel 'em schoolin' around?

So, Sunday we had a beach party to celebrate the births of each of my three daughters. This involved keeping approximately 40 (it was hard to get an exact count - those little buggers move pretty quickly), 4 to 9 year old children entertained for 2 hours in our back yard. How you might ask, did we achieve this?

As with any successful project, careful attention was paid to planning. Narrowing the guest list down from every person any of my daughters had ever met to a more reasonable number was difficult, but we finally managed to get the number of invitees down to FIFTY. Then came picking a theme for the party. We had done two backyard carnivals, so that was out. Pony rides was next on our list, but we couldn't locate anyone to to do it for a price that wouldn't require a second mortgage (honestly, the only quote we received was so high that I'm sure we could have bought a couple of ponies for less money). Finally we decided to do a beach party. The only remaining big decision was what type of cakes each of the girls wanted. Haley opted for chocolate cake with mocha icing; Mattie went with a brownie cake with peanut butter chips, a layer of peanut butter cup ice cream in the middle and a chocolate glaze on top; Grace went with the brownie cake with chocolate chips, mint chocolate chip ice cream in the middle and no icing. With the planning out of the way it was time to get to work...

Karyn found a picture that she liked for the invitations, then spent a day recreating it pixel by pixel because she didn't quite like the way the original printed (and she says I'm a perfectionist!?). The completed version was really great. She got those distributed and we started looking for stuff to tie in with the beach theme. I found Haley a great shirt for the party and it had a recipe for Luau Lemonade on it. So, not only did she have something to wear, but we had a drink to make for the party! I found a great kid's size tiki bar at Pottery Barn Kids, but it was $200 - out of our budget. Then Karyn lucked out and found a great one at Sam's for $70 and we decided to splurge. We found cool wake boards, an inflatable palm tree, various Flamingo stuff, etc. and the decor was really starting to come together (plus, these things would be the girls' presents!). The only thing missing was the beach. A couple of trips to Lowe's and 900 lbs of sand later, viola!, our patio was a beach. We filled up a couple of kiddie pools with water scattered some shells and the patio was ready. Cakes got baked and decorated, craft projects were prepared, goodie bags were decorated, leis and other stuff ordered, music purchased, etc. etc. etc.

On Sunday the kids arrived en masse. At first they played in the pools a bit, but they got a bitt cramped with so many big kids so we began some of the craft projects and activities. The Hula and limbo contests proved to be quite popular - I think I judged about 50 of each and kept the mostly 2nd-graders occupied for about an hour. The "beach" was very popular with the preschool crowd. The luau lemonade and the snack also went pretty quickly, One of the guests ate her weight in cheese (I'll bet her parents are wondering what is up with her system today), another ate her weight in pineapple. Another ended up staying with us about 45 minutes longer than planned (I think she was starting to wonder if maybe she had been left behind for good). It seemed like they all had fun. Most importantly (to me anyway), each of my daughters had a blast!

Plans to invite grown-ups over afterward for spiked versions of the luau lemonade had to be scrapped as we quickly got things cleaned up and covered up before the rain started (which fortunately held out until we were done). Then it was back to reality as Grace and Mattie finished up school projects, I packed for NoVa... Oh well, the beach excursion was fun while it lasted and Karyn and I did manage to have one tropical drink while we were there.

If I ever figure out how to post pictures to my blog - I'll post some of Birthday Beach!

Jimmy Buffett/Fins

Isn't she pretty in pink?

What happens to us as we get older with regard to our self esteem? Why do most of us become insecure about ourselves on some level? What can we do to prevent or reverse this?

Karyn and Haley worked together last week to make some jewelry for Haley. After they were done, Karyn put the clips in Haley's hair and I put the earrings in her ears. Haley then looked at herself in the mirror and proclaimed "I'm so pretty!" When was the last time any of you ladies out there did that?

I think we should all strive to give ourselves at least one compliment per day and to give another person a compliment as well. Feel free to be over-achievers and give yourself and others multiple compliments, but set a goal and stick with it. This should help all of us build our self esteem and build the esteem of those around us.

Here is my compliment to myself for the day - I'm great at being silly with my kids!

Here is my compliment to all my friends and family that read this - You guys have been very supportive, thanks!

The Psychedelic Furs, Pretty in Pink

Welcome to my life

So, last night there was an ice cream social at Grace's and Mattie's school. Me and the girls had fun eating pizza and ice cream, listening to music, and playing on various moonbounce type rides. Got home, did baths and got the girls to sleep fairly easily. So I decide to chill, watch tv, enjoy a cold brew and wait for Karyn to get home from her evening out. Suddenly my calm is interupted by a loud bang from upstairs. Thinking one of the girls had fallen out of bed, I went upstairs to investigate.

Well, each of the girls was in bed sleeping, so I looked around a bit and discovered that the bathroom window had fallen shut. Apparently my cat Ziggy had been sitting in the window when it shut and had tried to escape. He had been mostly successful, except about 3 inches of his tail had not made it out in time and had been severed. I frantically began looking for Ziggy to make sure he wasn't bleeding to death, but could not find him anywhere. I decided to try to call Karyn so that she could help me look for him and so that one of us could take him to a vet.

Well, Karyn's phone has a habit of not ringing and I couldn't reach her by cellphone. Fortunately, she had told me that she would be at a local dive, so I called there and asked for her. I felt a little like Bart Simpson calling Moe's, except I wasn't asking for Seymore Butts. The place is rather small, so they were able to locate her and she came home quickly.

After some further searching, I found Ziggy in the attic. We got him into his cat carrier and I took him to an emergency vet. They fixed him up a bit, gave him some pain medicine and sent me home with a lighter wallet and instructions to take him to the regular vet the next day for surgery (he's going to be fine, he'll just have a shorter tail than he used to). I finally got home a little after midnight and managed to fall asleep around 1am or so.

Then, around 1:05 am, Haley starts crying for me. I go in to check on her and she is in one of her lets talk for an hour modes. I finally get back in bed around 2am. Around 2:05, Haley crawls in our bed and begins thrashing around. I don't know how such a small person can take up so much room. Somehow I fall back asleep, only to be roused again when Grace comes in and decides to curl up at the end of our bed...

Up at 7:30 to start a new day and get kids off to school, do some work, go to Mattie's and Grace's softball game (tied 19-19), watch the movie Shark Tale outside in the park (first time I've seen an outdoor movie - never even been to a drive inn), and quickly to bed so that we can get up for a 9am softball game (Go Titans!).

Yep, this is my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Sure there are many parts that I would rather do without, there are many parts that I am trying to change, but there are also many parts that are wonderful and that keep me going through the chaos.

Simple Plan (although it sounds like Green Day) Welcome to My Life

Who I am when I am with you, who I'm not when I am lonely

In a recent post I wrote that I didn't like conflict. Well, an anonymous comment suggested that not only did I like conflict, but that I thrived on it. This has me thinking about how we see ourselves is often very different to how others see us. Even different groups that we interact with may see us very differently. To me, the way we act in groups is very much dependent on the energy of the group. For example, my circle of friends that originated in the bunker (and has happily spread) is a very supportive group with great energy. Therefore, when I am with them I tend to be more energetic and upbeat. When I'm alone, I still tend to view myself in terms of who I was many many years ago - definitely an image that needs updating in my mind! I'm sure my family members all have their views of who I am based on our shared history. I feel like asking the real "Robert" to please stand up like in the old gameshow To Tell The Truth.

Lately I've been giving much more thought to who I want to be rather than who I am. I know I want to be a good father, husband, brother, son, and friend. Beyond that, I want to make the world a better place for my having been here. I'm working on how I can best do that with the talents that I have. This is where anybody reading this can help. Post, email, call, whatever, but let me know what you think my talents are and any suggestions that you have on how I might use those talents to make the world a better place. The phone lines are now open :)

Lyric from Madonna's Nobody's Perfect

Something in a Sunday that makes a body feel alone

I'm sitting on my back porch, drinking coffee, catching up on blogs and emails (wireless is wonderful!), and listening to the birds chirp and some neighborhood dogs bark. I was just about to type how the girls were in their rooms playing, Karyn is sleeping late and how I feel alone, when Mattie come out and asks me to put a bead back on one of her necklaces. With children you are never alone for very long :)

Anyway, I wasn't really feeling lonely, I was enjoying the calm of a Sunday morning. To me Sunday mornings always have felt different. There is a certain melancholy that goes with them. Not sure if it is the whole end of the weekend thing, the preacher's kid church thing, or what. But it is there and I actually enjoy it for some strange reason.

I've decided to start attributing the lyrics that I use for my titles to the singer/song that I know them from, so here goes:

Johnny Cash/Sunday Morning Coming Down

We can make it home with one headlight

Here is my public service announcement for the month - do not drive sleepy! If you feel like you are getting tired, pull over and stretch, nap, get some caffeine, whatever - just do not continue driving.

I learned this the hard way Tuesday morning. I got up at 3:30am to head to Reston to work for a few days. Well, I was very tired by the time I got on 66. I should have pulled off for awhile but didn't. I was in heavy stop and go traffic when next thing I know I hear and feel a big crash and realize that I had fallen asleep and hit the car in front of me when it had stopped. Luckily we were not traveling very fast and no one was hurt. Both cars were damaged but still drivable. This could have been so much worse and I feel lucky to have escaped serious harm to myself or anyone else. Please, don't drive sleepy!

My little runaway...

Sometimes a change of scenery can really help improve your outlook - that definitely was the case this past weekend in Nashville! While I hated being away from my family (especially since I'm away so much with work), the weekend really was a much needed boost. Here are some highlights:

• Traveling with my sister and her husband - great conversations that helped make the trip go quickly
• Dinner Friday night - incredible food, getting to know some of the new folks in the group, reconnecting with old friends
• Marathon - finished 6 minutes faster than last year, incredible energy from making connections with fellow runners and the crowds, great sense of accomplishment, giving it all I had physically and mentally, helping friends and family celebrate their accomplishments as well (way to go everyone, sorry I wasn't waiting for you at the finish sis)
• Guiness - the post race Guiness always tastes so good - congrats to Monica for almost finishing her pint! Thanks Joel for creating this tradition!
• Cookout - even if the weather wasn't good enough for us to enjoy the great outdoors, the second annual cookout at the Messina's was incredible. The hospitality, food, Chris' beer, and fellowship were just what my weary body and mind needed. Plus I was able to get the secret of the ribs!
• Post race activites - great times with good music and friends. Just wish we could have found some good late night pizza. I was happy that I didn't get any Kitty Twitty titty twisters! Enjoyed seeing Jilian getting to see and hear her country music crush. If they end up opening a Coyote Ugly in Blacksburg, I know a few local ladies that could tend bar/dance there based on their performance Saturday night.
• Social violence - Monica, get help before it is too late :)

Came home to celebrate Haley's birthday!!! My baby is now 4 - how did that happen?!?!? We had fun at Chuckie Cheese and then enjoyed some ice cream cake at home. Perfect end to the weekend...