I still haven't found what I'm looking for
The other thing that happened Sunday, besides the beach birthday bash (see previous post), was that I shared a pulpit with my father at my church. My father is a retired Methodist minister and former missionary and he was asked to preach while our pastor was away. I was the liturgist. It was a very good experience, but the best part for me came later in the day when my stepmother, who had been in the congregation, told me how proud she had been of me up there and how I had missed my calling. It meant a great deal to me to hear her say that she was proud of me - I think we all want to hear that from our parents.
But the second part of her statement, that I had missed my calling, has plunged me deeper into the thoughts I've been having about what I want to do if I grow up. I've always envied people who have a calling, who know their purpose, who can't envision any other path than the one they are on. I've even thought that in some ways it might be nice to live in a time or society with little choice as to what you do with your life - it is chosen for you. What if I did miss my calling? What if I was too busy listening to some sappy song on the radio when it came? Or maybe it was like in the Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb - "your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'" - maybe I just couldn't quite make out the words. Or maybe I just missed the connection.
My whole life I've been a snorkeler (figuratively), never much of a diver. I like a lot of things in a general way, but tend to get very bored with the specifics. Sure, I'll dive deeper occasionally into a topic that piques my interest, but soon enough I'm back to skimming the surface. The list of things that I've thought I wanted to be has included lawyer, politician, actor, casting director, restaurateur, preservationist, architect, manager, international businessman, teacher, foreign aide worker, massage therapist, marine biologist, veterinarian, travel agent, realtor, artist, actuary, foreign service agent, buyer, furniture designer/builder, real estate developer, photographer, bartender, doctor, and so on. I've never really been able to focus for very long or to narrow the list down in any meaningful way. I really just wish I were independently wealthy so that I could afford to dabble in each of the areas for a while (okay, so I've ruled out the politician thing...).
I think part of the problem has to do with the age we live in - it is a very specialized age and people's roles are very narrowly defined. In earlier times you used many different skills in order to get through daily life. It seems to me that many people have the same struggle that I do because they hate to limit themselves to such narrowly defined career paths. Also, we have so much choice, that it is kind of overwhelming. There are so many options available, so many paths and each one can require a huge investment of time, energy, money, etc. to follow. What if we choose poorly? We hate to waste our precious resources.
I definitely don't have the answers - I'm searching like many others. As the song from the musical Pippin says "got to find my corner of the sky." Sure, I've got some of the pieces of the puzzle in place and I find peace in that, but there are still some missing pieces that haven't been found and are needed to complete the picture. Hmmm, maybe they are hidden under the cushions of the couch...think I'll go take a look.
U2/I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
But the second part of her statement, that I had missed my calling, has plunged me deeper into the thoughts I've been having about what I want to do if I grow up. I've always envied people who have a calling, who know their purpose, who can't envision any other path than the one they are on. I've even thought that in some ways it might be nice to live in a time or society with little choice as to what you do with your life - it is chosen for you. What if I did miss my calling? What if I was too busy listening to some sappy song on the radio when it came? Or maybe it was like in the Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb - "your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'" - maybe I just couldn't quite make out the words. Or maybe I just missed the connection.
My whole life I've been a snorkeler (figuratively), never much of a diver. I like a lot of things in a general way, but tend to get very bored with the specifics. Sure, I'll dive deeper occasionally into a topic that piques my interest, but soon enough I'm back to skimming the surface. The list of things that I've thought I wanted to be has included lawyer, politician, actor, casting director, restaurateur, preservationist, architect, manager, international businessman, teacher, foreign aide worker, massage therapist, marine biologist, veterinarian, travel agent, realtor, artist, actuary, foreign service agent, buyer, furniture designer/builder, real estate developer, photographer, bartender, doctor, and so on. I've never really been able to focus for very long or to narrow the list down in any meaningful way. I really just wish I were independently wealthy so that I could afford to dabble in each of the areas for a while (okay, so I've ruled out the politician thing...).
I think part of the problem has to do with the age we live in - it is a very specialized age and people's roles are very narrowly defined. In earlier times you used many different skills in order to get through daily life. It seems to me that many people have the same struggle that I do because they hate to limit themselves to such narrowly defined career paths. Also, we have so much choice, that it is kind of overwhelming. There are so many options available, so many paths and each one can require a huge investment of time, energy, money, etc. to follow. What if we choose poorly? We hate to waste our precious resources.
I definitely don't have the answers - I'm searching like many others. As the song from the musical Pippin says "got to find my corner of the sky." Sure, I've got some of the pieces of the puzzle in place and I find peace in that, but there are still some missing pieces that haven't been found and are needed to complete the picture. Hmmm, maybe they are hidden under the cushions of the couch...think I'll go take a look.
U2/I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
posted by r.m at 2:41 PM
4 Comments:
Well, 1st of all i don't think you missed your calling...i don't believe in mistakes in life, only occurances that lead us to what we should be and where we should be ultimately. Doesn't mean you won't have a career change, but missed your calling altogether...NOWAY! 2ndly...you DON'T want to be a Doctor...too many strings and regulations. Not to mention the $$ isn't what it use to be.
Happy Hunting!
Funny how our blogs and thoughts somewhat parallel from time to time. Like you I too have thought of doing lots of things. Wondering what my calling is, or if I have a specific one? I don't think I've missed it, if it is there :) I've considered Computer Engineering, Materials Scientist (properties of electronic & magnetic materials), IT Management, Doctor, Officer in the Air Force (boy was I close), Vocational Ministry to name a few.
But one thing I do know is that if life keeps going the way it is then I will grow up to be like you. And honestly if that is the direction I am headed in then I am heading the right way and see no need to change. Only when I get to where you are I won't have to ask these questions, because I'll be like someone I want to be :)
Keep questioning, it is where life is :)
Hopefully a younger version of you,
Rex
A knew there was another reason I liked you, generally you just described me too. Although it sounds like you have had a wider range of careers. Recently I have been seriously considering the politician route. I am thinking of running for town council to see what I think of it. But, I’ll probably give that up before I even go for it. Like Rex I am really trying to figure out what really plays into my strengths. Of course I need to nail them down too. Where is the darn manual for life? I think it is a rare person who really knows what their calling is.
Start your own TV show. It starts with a spinning wheel that has many different careers on it. As it slows the ticking continues and eventually it stops pointing to some career. Then you have to do the career for a few weeks. The show would follow you through the experience.
Rex – you should have gone into the Air Force, I can see you playing volleyball while 80’s music plays in the background. :) What would you call sign be? “Frisbee”, maybe?
Man, looks like I missed my calling... I'll have to find a way to play volleyball around here. I'll take a radio and a few of my 80's CDs. And they shall call me 'Frisbee'.
:)
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