Like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes
Earlier I posted about a terrifying experience involving a pigeon in my house; this morning I awoke to find something equally horrific - a bat! It was flying from bedroom to bedroom (likely choosing which sleeping neck it should first bite into) under the watchful gaze of our cat. After assessing the situation and realizing that the cat wasn't going to do anything, I closed the bedroom doors, leaving the bat to flit between the hallway and the bathroom. I ran outside and got the net that I use in the fish pond and bounded back up the stairs to capture the nightmarish creature.
Amazingly, I caught him in the net on my first attempt and quickly trapped him on the floor, under the net. He emitted a few high-pitched chirps (presumably in an effort to call upon the lords of darkness for assistance) and then became eerily still and quiet. I went downstairs to get a piece of cardboard to use to take the beast out of the house while keeping him trapped in the net. I called upon Karyn to guard the bat while I was on this important errand. I was very careful not to say the incantation "Hocus-Pocus" lest the bat turn into a vampire (if you've seen the Transylvania 6-5000 Bugs Bunny short, you'll know what I'm talking about).
I slowly slid the retrieved cardboard between the net and the floor, fully expecting the bat to attempt an escape or to at least make a few more of his high pitched squeals - he did neither. He was almost completely weightless and I couldn't really see him in the black netting so I began to question whether I had caught him at all. Perhaps he had eluded me and was hiding in a darkened corner plotting a surprise attack? Karyn opened the front door for me and I made my way outside with the cardboard, the net, and hopefully a bat. I leaned over the front porch railing, removed the cardboard and shook the net. To my great relief a black object emerged from the netting and flew off.
I'm beginning to think I am the re-incarnation of Icarus and am being taunted by all creatures that can fly. That would also explain the frequent flight dreams that I had as a child that always ended badly. One thing is for certain - when I became a husband and father, no one warned me that I would be called upon to deal with these types of situations. I just hope that the herons that we've spotted by our koi pond never figure out how to get in the house, 'cause that's when I'm walking out the door and letting all winged creatures fight over the place.
Meat Loaf / Bat Out Of Hell
Amazingly, I caught him in the net on my first attempt and quickly trapped him on the floor, under the net. He emitted a few high-pitched chirps (presumably in an effort to call upon the lords of darkness for assistance) and then became eerily still and quiet. I went downstairs to get a piece of cardboard to use to take the beast out of the house while keeping him trapped in the net. I called upon Karyn to guard the bat while I was on this important errand. I was very careful not to say the incantation "Hocus-Pocus" lest the bat turn into a vampire (if you've seen the Transylvania 6-5000 Bugs Bunny short, you'll know what I'm talking about).
I slowly slid the retrieved cardboard between the net and the floor, fully expecting the bat to attempt an escape or to at least make a few more of his high pitched squeals - he did neither. He was almost completely weightless and I couldn't really see him in the black netting so I began to question whether I had caught him at all. Perhaps he had eluded me and was hiding in a darkened corner plotting a surprise attack? Karyn opened the front door for me and I made my way outside with the cardboard, the net, and hopefully a bat. I leaned over the front porch railing, removed the cardboard and shook the net. To my great relief a black object emerged from the netting and flew off.
I'm beginning to think I am the re-incarnation of Icarus and am being taunted by all creatures that can fly. That would also explain the frequent flight dreams that I had as a child that always ended badly. One thing is for certain - when I became a husband and father, no one warned me that I would be called upon to deal with these types of situations. I just hope that the herons that we've spotted by our koi pond never figure out how to get in the house, 'cause that's when I'm walking out the door and letting all winged creatures fight over the place.
Meat Loaf / Bat Out Of Hell
posted by r.m at 8:42 AM
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